Four words

I miss you,
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bebe..

I are in the midst of attempting to finish memorising the elements and cases laid down under defences of offences.

I feel intimidated, by forseeing the passing rate among the youthful Gamma batch.

Call us crazy, for some underlying reasons we never get to meet the lecturers' requirement, especially those who has female characteristic and acts as if she suffers from PMS everyday.

On an unrelated note, the cool breeze in the early morning somehow calm me down and sooth the tense.

Hope the aircon in thee examination venue will be as cooling as the wind but not to the extent that will freeze our limbs and limit our speed of writing and circulation of blood.

There's nothing more annoying than forgetting something you've written down on a paper without reference for countless times.

You would like to tear the exam paper, gnaw on them and swallow, for good.

Ok, this might be exagerating but nevertheless, similar.

Good luck for us, may the force be with us.

Get yourself ready with your pens as weapons and brain as strategy.

You would like to pawn that booklet of papers with writings, and pass with flying color.

I ditched the usual happiness that I can obtain, without extra effort, blood or sweat, happiness that was gifted within me, from the surrounding.

I put down the usual burden I had in school, unloaded half of it, and loaded the other half with the love I had to carry on with my life, same volume, double the weight.

I shed the tears that had never been released except in the occasional touchy movies or saddenning circumstances, as now I excrete these salty saline liquid from my eyes, daily routine.

I prayed to God for guidance after years of negligence on religion, he gave me hints, yet he gave me none, who else other than him can tell me what's right and what's wrong, still I've got no reply.

They observed and they noticed my change; the strength of friendship and its flexibilty nurture the bond among us and get it concrete. The past had been a rainbow-like memory, which the present me could hardly make anymore.

How many hearts I have been tramped under my cold-blooded feet, how many times my hearts have been ignored by cruel human beings. I survive, still, with my feet standing firm on the ground, I stand; I died, often, with my heart stabbed by his double sided blade, those liquid that oozed out from the injurt aren't blood, but tears.

He looks at me as a girl who is dying for attention.

He looks at me as a girl who is looking for extreme fun at night.

He looks at me as a girl who does not give all her best in relationship.

I think I do.

He judges me not.

I insisted I do.

He convicted me for arguing what he thinks is right.

Results vary, but always end up this way.

I apologize for the silliness I once made that caused my loved ones to worry.

I apologize for the tears and yelling that I have made that induced worry, once again into you guy's mind.

I apologize for everything that I couldn't perfectize.

All I've done is to make this work, this relationship tat no one approves of.

All I need is his appreciation and understanding; understand my affection and passion, however they are too profound to be seen by him, thus was set aside by him and all flaws were exposed to his very naked eyes.

Tears, everyday, tears.

I will make this work.

I will.

Dillema

God, I have a question.

People do go through hard time, and whatever it is, I know you're always with us.

But this time, can you please tell me, as I've sent you so many prayers..

If its a sign, or a test..

Tell me please..

Someone please tell me..

Amoeba destruction

After months long of semester and 2 weeks torture on finals papers, we have all freed from the cage. Freedom may sound nice, but how could we enjoy 3 weeks long of holidays without besties, homies, and freaked coursemates? I've been craving for my mom's yogurt 2 weeks before the sem break actually starts and now, I'm so sick of it.. I miss my home-made macaroni in campbell mushroom soup, I miss the curry maggie that we crave for everyday, I miss those unhealthy way of lifestyle.. Healthy food make me ill for weeks..

Sad news, my uncle had a sudden pain and was hospitalised few days before my holidays actually started. Nobody actually knew what was going on right then but the situation was not good. Something happened to his liver and he had been staying in ICU for almost a week. Anastetic had a serious side effect on him that gave him illusions such like red-eyed hospital attendants, crawling ants on clothes and super market - like hospital.

Good thing was he had been discharged and was able to rest in his own house, my stubborn uncle had been climbing up and down the stairs in his house despite his fading health. However, he had been sent to hospital in Singapore last week; during the visit with my dad to my uncle's ward, I was shocked in knowing the main cause of the illness..

Amoeba..

Amoeba in a cute way should look like this





























































Yupz, the villians in powerpuff girls cartoon. In reality, they look like this.

























The most common single cell living creature that you've ever known. They live in water and reproduce by themselves. Amoeba was found under telescope in my uncle's discharged fluid, the abcess. These little things might be staying and accumulating themselves in my uncle's body for years. They stick at the surface of internal organs and reproduce themselves. The activities of Amoeba made part of my uncle's liver bursted. Scary right.. Thus, never drink non-processed water, river, well, even dew (??). You may not know if there's amoeba in it..

From Him, For me

Beaucoup trop de temps se passe

Alot of time passed by

Chaque minutes je pens a toi

Every minute I think of you

Chaque heures j'ai besion de te serrer dans mes bras

Every hour I need your hug in my body or in my shoulder

Chaque semaine tu me manque

Every week I miss you so much

Chaque moins je sens faible sans toi

Every month I feel weak without you

Cvec toi j'ai tout les chose

With you I feel like I have everything

Toutjour j'attend

Always waiting...

- My Powee

Prejudice Leads to Betterment

I used to detest those who prejudge people with what comes first to thier senses.

The clothing.

The style.

The language.

The expression.

Nevertheless I used to pressure myself not to make prejudice on people whom I do not understand thoroughly, it is a sin for gossiping behind people's back.

Of course I hate people who makes prejudice on me. Used to.

For most of my coursemates my impression to them for these two years, maybe the first year, was a playgirl who club alot and never study, never get serious.

My results are only known to my 4 besties and family members, I'm reluctant in announcing my result to prevent any unexpected events, usually bad ones.

Since my appearance always seems to be as a playful and talkactive girl sitting at the back, my comments among coursemates doesn't really sound good, I assume.

Miera once defended my honour when some girls in my batch assumed that my result was bad. After being told by Miera for them this was kinda eye-popping and jaw-dropping.

Surprisingly as an anti-prejudice human being I do not feel any worse but yet kinda amused by thier reactions.

Soon news spread and I got a nick which kinda embarasses me and without doubt, asserts more pressure on me.

It is hard to maintain equally balanced results in every sem.

I have to admit the statement above.

By the way, I somehow do not mind about any prejudice about me that was spread through the vineyard, rumours, huh?

I do not seek revenge or intend to fire back at those rumour makers as this is waste of time and energy for me.

I know they will get back-fired, at least I've seen one example.

Like I've said, if God creates the smart and the dumb ones to neutralize this world, there are too many dumbies to neautralize me.

Most of the people around me are smart and cool and nice to get along with but too bad still retarded exist, it is the theory of balancing this world I got no comment about the creations of God.

I may look unfriendly somtimes due to my face features but I'm actually easy to get along with.

I will be mean and sarcastic only if you attempt to piss me in the ass.

I do not mean you to really PISS in my ASS, it is just a metaphor.

I accept prejudice, in the same time I hate you all equally.